GROWING UP

''As bad as a man can,
 he always has a reason,
 and no matter how good a guy is, 
he always has an option''

A lot of times I have much reason to thank the universal lord of omnipotent power and unending control over we beings. To celebrate my 23rd birthday, I have decided to let loose of some facts about me and take you on a journey of how the boy became a man.
    Growing up as a young kid of so many huge potentials as they say to me always, I had to get used to the noise of fame no matter how small it comes, it always comes with an irregular amount of pressure accompanied with responsibility. Was not too helped by my look of matured build while my age speaks different tune, back home its an advantage to mums and you have to just run all the chores because you seem to have the bones. It was tiring at first been the second child of the family, with a senior of gentle and meek stature but commanding attitude, well the tallest trees have the fewest leaves they say. Chores have to be waved to the next in line who relishes the challenge at first only to get too tired of the stress of being responsible, it happens to all kids I guess and I know you can relate, but the advantage is that ít made me mature before my real maturity and it transfer to my school attitude  ''the guy is responsible '' comes with a lot of work and task to be done within specifics.

"A collage picture with my mum"

    As a kid, you just want the time to stand still, you just want to stop but we do not get all we want just what we could, makes me remember my favorite quote back then, ''As bad as a man is, he always has a reason, and no matter how good a guy can be, he always has an option''. I was perhaps lucky to grow up in a family of strong emotional ties and religious understanding of the word of God, we had to embrace right from a young age the word of peace, living and loving our neighbors just as we cared for ourselves bar any tribal or religious differences. If I ever had to pick who had the heaviest stamp on me growing up in my household, then it's definitely my big brother. Surprisingly,  we hardly fight, seldomly had something to chat about, just as any other young siblings do, but there exists an enormous amount of respect. He grew up quickly to learn things fast and at ease, which in return rubbed on me, I was a slow learner to start with and had to deal with the pressure of having a sharp big brother, as expected, there comes the usual lyrics, 'he is too playful', 'únserious', 'not even gentle like his brother', 'very restless', such were the pressure that I had to pick him as my competition. The poor guy knows nothing about my quest but my sight was firmly set on beating all his tracks and getting one over him.
     It started with Arabic school, he was quick to learn the teachings that he graduated just months after his 5th birthday, and trust me you wouldn't mind Faruqi reciting the Quran for you all night. Such was his beautiful tune that he made a classmate of mine break down in tears at the sight of his recitation in a grossly populated stadium at a public celebration. The competition soon grows to school, if wishes were a bird, I was never going to school at Aminat College, a place where he was schooling and already made his name as one of their best students. Well there is no prize for guessing right, I was coming in to fill his big shoes, but I had a different plan, I wanted to go to a Naval school in Abeokuta where I completed my primaries. Completed the entrance exam and already dreaming of myself in that white khaki and headgear so much that I turned down a scholarship.

"At times u just need to get lost to be found"

    I came to Aminat College as a kid who wants to enjoy life and play away time, but that was just the facade I want to portray, I had to',  because to achieve my goal I need a camouflage from the noise around 'stepping into his shoes', just like I told a friend of mine weeks ago, ''shout when it's loud, not only for the crowd''. I had my doubters, even from the teachers that took me in school down to my classmates and other students, ''he is too playful to be successful'', well for the records, the best graduating students in my convocation year were the noisiest and playful in the school right from our junior classes. I once thought we had the same plan, but my teacher will say in her words, ''you've affected them'', funny enough our names had to be on the list of noisemakers or else it's not valid, probably manipulated, so thought the teachers, and as usual Mallam Abdullahi gat his wipes ready for our butt. I don't know if this is only me tho, but I kind of enjoy the prep before the beatings especially the one from our art teacher, in his words, ''raise your bum, am gonna trash you six on the back, don't try to touch it'', well i guess it would have to be the famous quote amongst student if not for the weight of the other ditched out by our then principal, who forgets so soon the strong lyrics ''every student must, MUST!!!, capital letter undelined, come to the assembly ground with a complete outfit''.
Such was the discipline that we had to understand quickly, we are no more mama's babies, but soon come the invention of PlayStation and it had all students spending till the last cash, at first I was not a fan, until I continously follow my brother to the playing shop and getting in the groove, I was proabaly scared of the punishment he recieves from my dad afer coming home late from playing but soon caught up in the play and now an addicted player on both Fifa and Pes, way back Winning eleven games, Pes 98', Sega and so on. I had a couple of friends in my life I cherish their company, but the best have had would be my Sec Sch. playmate, we did all sort together and PlayStation was never going to be left out, even after 7nil trashing, some still don't agree on who the boss is, with pride at stake and girls awake on a cold Monday for the gist and banters. I remember we going to bash at the residence of one us, cooking and gaming all evening, even his mum knew exactly how we chat out and enjoy messing around her kitchen. One stand out scene for me was her first glance of the mess we made at her residence, we had already finished cooking, and just about to make way for the afternoon saga, then she knocks, at the sight of her presence, all was in a pandemonium, that I ended up having my hand as a substitute for her ceramic plate which already houses a fresh from the fire bolus of 'Eba' (a locally made food), ouch! that hurts back then, and to top it all she decided against going in and choose to talk to us about our lives and what we should use our time for, oh my dear!!, you can't imagine how red-hot my palms were after the sermon, couldn't even pick any lines afterward.

 ''shout when it's loud, not only for the crowd''

Friends they say breathe life into one's life, I had few good ones, and one in particular since primaries then met again in the same class in high school, who forgets the guy that comes to school every Monday with new things ranging from sandals, hand bands, belts and even had a radio which has only 'labaika' songs on it. It was fun trust me because at the end of the day his funny ways back then earn him a nickname as the 'girls favorite'. Thank God he is more serious now, grown into a man that assumes responsibility, with the knot about to be tied, I pray others don't stay as baby mama and papa's for the best part of their youth, well I guess its better than being in the friend zone.
    I had few issues throughout my high school, as I grew into a man of many responsibilities, ranging from socials to religious and also assuming political office, I was perhaps helped by the good seniors I had around to tutor me on how to lead opposing how to rule. The one who stands out for me is Yusuf Ghazali of 09' set if my math is correct, he for me was the best in terms of exemplary leadership and embracing loads of work in front of you while maintaining the educational brilliance. He had a funny way of putting on his uniform cap, and this later becomes a style among junior colleagues in later years even after his graduation, he fought for the right of students at the board level without disrespecting the hierarchy of constituted authorities. So perhaps I was to be forgiven when a mate of mine once called me a 'genius' and I said to her, ''have you met the GHAZALI'S''.

"to sail, I had to learn how to fail"

    Girls ain't part of the plan growing up but at some point, we all have to appreciate their presence as the oil that greases our knots when it cracks, you will forgive me for saying I wasn't a fan at a young age, since I grew up among four boys and an aunt old enough to be my teacher. It gets to a point don't have a problem with a guy topping the class charts while I play second fiddle but when its a girl, hell no! twice have been challenged and twice have not only triumphed but also making a statement of intent to other guys around, 'no place for the girls in the top 4'. As crazy as it seems, it worked, because instead of being a feminist physically and in my dealings I channeled it to my studies and always want to get one over them. Buh in truth, I later grow to love and accommodate them as a competitive pair, and over the years have met a lot of them who in spite of their level of brilliance, still maintains their humility and respect, I don my hat in salute!.
I was lucky to have good ones around me in high school and till now, with my heart moved by some and shaken by some but generally, I would say am not a fan of the general tag for the unchecked mutual feel called ''LOVE''. But yes, I once fell in love and if love is God and God is everywhere, then am still in love. Am always an advocate of giving love another trial, but does the real one hurt? maybe you can read more on that on one of my past articles 'THIS THING CALLED LOVE' and get my view on it. The truth as opposing to the widespread belief of my schoolmates then was, I never really dated anybody throughout my high school years, I was really close to, like very, very close to dating, but God has his ways of doing things, I was perhaps meant for bigger task ahead, but I sincerely loved her so much, till now? well the rain has fall and the grass have dried up, I just leave the future to decide itself at times.

"In the world of too much info,
 its a crime to stay ignorant"

    Perhaps the most challenging phase of my life was my years in the seniors where responsibilities were loaded up like books, I was later made the senior prefect of my school but people only realize the fun part of jokes, nobody remembers where it came from. That day was probably the most awkward day in my life, I was about to be announced as the senior prefect, but lo! and behold! I had no sock nor cap or even necktie on me as the usual hostel raid turns on me. I can still remember a senior friend of mine, Osho, hurriedly trying to get me well dressed for my presentation, that was close! was the thought on my mind throughout my presentation which was covered in cheers and claps from the junior mates, it really feels good afterward. But soon I had to come to terms with reality, I am no longer an ordinary student, I am now the most sought-after name within the walls of the school and junior students and mates alike are bound to look up to their already famous leader who just wanna be an ordinary guy. Lessons learned from home helped a lot and also examples set by my predecessors, with the help of my ever supportive mates we all scaled through and soon come the valedictory service day when I had to address the members of the gathering about what I have been through and how I did cope with it. It did feel good getting a pat on the back and that 'go am with you' look from the lady I cherished most in school then, before heading out to cheers to give my presentation. I was probably more elated and moved to tears at the sight of my fellow graduands in ovation after my speech and the M.C saying, 'he definitely does it like his father'.

"you just have to fail when you can,
 not when you should"

I made quite a number of decision since then up till now, that has shaped me to the man I am today, ranging from the risk, gambles, to the firm grip and never-let-go attitude towards making it, I sacrificed a lot to the game and am not done yet, and even when am there, I still believe there is more to do to stay there than just being there, for me, you just have to fail when you can, not when you should. And this takes me back to one of my favs. quotes back in school, 'a man on a mission without a vision, is no different to a motion without friction', live to inspire.

As far as I am concerned,
happiness should be an obligatory choice
and not a necessary mandate

As far as I am concerned, happiness should be an obligatory choice and not a necessary mandate, so many people rub on you a face they believed you possess, some even go miles to claim that's who you are, but in actual fact, you are not what you are because of what you did, but what you think of yourself, for me that has to be your true definition, no ones knows the water better than the river. I had to deal with a limited amount of 'them say', 'she says', just as any popular jingle in high school, I say limited because I found how to deal earlier and found a way to be happy even in times of trials, there was a time I hit the rock bottom and had to pick myself up before any eye notices, there were times when things aint just gona go as planned and it seems life is about to desert my thoughts and plans, there were times when there no man to man to run to but God, during those times, I only saw myslef, alone with my thoughts, and had to fight back from within, had to self-inspire myslef and remind myself of the good times of the past and yet to come. If there was one thing I learn during those times is that, 'to sail I had to learn how to fail' and embrace my flaws as they can't be evicted from my success story, we all had to fall, we just need to be prepared to rise above our doubts, they will only remember you, if you want them to, the question now is, how? because,  no risk no glory, no legend no story.
Feel free to leave your comments and suggestions below, and don't forget to check back for the concluding part of this piece...